The First Day from ... the Bad Place

I just want to vent.

Today started like any other day, but it all went downhill.

1st Block was fine. 1st Block is supposed to end at 10:20 am, but today one of the teachers forgot and thought it was dismissed at 10:25. Since we have no bells, that meant everyone was a little behind. But that's really no big deal. My kids start coming into 2nd block and I remind them that even though they got out of 1st block a little late that it's time to get to work on the warm up because we had already lost a few minutes.

I had one girl who was showing off for a boy and decided she did not want to do her warm up. She informed me she was going to the bathroom. I told her this was not the time because we needed to get started with class, but that we would have time for a bathroom break later in the block. She proceeded to argue with me and I gave her a verbal warning. That stopped her for the moment, so I thought things would be ok.

Class continues and later on I catch her with her purse on her desk (one of those big huge purses - and just as a side note, I'm not one of those girls that carries a big purse. My small black one suits me just fine). She has both hands in her purse and is obviously texting. The school policy is no cell phones period, but I asked her to please put her purse under her desk and I would ignore what I had just seen that time. She then proceeded to argue with me about putting her purse under her desk and pretended that she had not been doing anything inside of it. I informed her I was not stupid and I knew what was going on and if she would simply put her purse under her desk I would forget all about it. She continued to yell at me at which point I reminded her that it was her choice to be at this alternative school and if she wanted to, she could leave. So she left.

Great. But at the time I had 9 other kids in the room and it was better to remove her from the situation than keep her there. Maybe some day she will realize that acting up in class and getting asked to leave will not really impress any boy of consequence.

So later when I spoke with the school's director about the incident, she had not told him about her cell phone (of course, no surprise there). So then the whole thing made more sense to him, but he proceeded to tell me that I probably should have spoken to her differently about the matter. He didn't want me to tell her that she could leave, because really she can't. These kids don't have the option of going back to the regular high school building right now. The regular high school won't take them back until they prove themselves with us. So he's right. I have to just talk about that fact that these kids chose to be here....not that they can choose to leave.

Talk about feeling like crap. That was me right then. I wanted to cry, to be honest.

So I go back to my room and try and have some lunch and pull myself together for 3rd block. The special ed teacher comes in and is really nice to me. I tell him what happened and he told me I did the exact right thing and that I'm doing a great job. That was really nice to hear, especially since he does inclusion in my 2nd block every day and watches me teach almost the whole period.

Later in the day, I talk to the social worker who says I did the right thing as well, but I still feel guilty. I don't want any of my kids to feel like they're not welcome in my class. The social worker says that I can't allow her to do those types of things in my class, and I know she's right. I completely agree. The tough part is that this alternative school is so different from any other teaching that I've done. I'm a strict teacher, but I also know how precarious some of these students' academic situations are. I want them to come each day. I want them to be comfortable. I want them to have fun and feel safe. But I also want them to respect me and do what I ask them to do. It's a fine line to walk.

Even though most people seem to think I did the right thing, I still feel badly.

I'm just out of practice I guess.

After school I find out that one of my BD students has decided that my math class is too hard and he doesn't want to be there anymore. Even though the special ed teacher tells me it has nothing to do with me, it still breaks my heart - especially since the kid had done so well in my class today.

After that I had to go to a meeting at the district office. It wasn't a bad meeting. It was kind of fun, but it ran over. I really just wanted to get home.

After that I finally found out why I haven't been able to log in to my online grade book - I didn't have the right password! We use Skyward which has an Employee side and an Educator side. Employee side has pay stubs and personal information like that. Educator side has my gradebook. For some reason I have a different password for each. I don't think that's the way it's supposed to be, but it is. I hope they can fix that.

So I finally get into my gradebook after a week and a half of school and I have tons of grades to input. I grade the warm ups we do each day, we usually have an in class/participation grade, I've given a test, and we've had several homework assignments. So I get into my grade book and I expect to be able to get it all in tonight and finally be caught up on everything, right?

No way. No way would it be that easy on a day like today.

My 2nd block is all wrong. Everything is ok with 1st, 3rd, and 4th, but 2nd block isn't my class. 2nd block is a totally different class - it's the list of kids in the computer lab class across the hall during that period, not the ones in my class. So on top of everything else, my OCD half is not satisfied because all my grades are entered except for 2nd block.

Great.

I have a lesson plan for tomorrow, but I haven't worked out the kinks - trying a new one tomorrow. We'll see how that goes.

8:15 pm and I need a shower.